submitted by dourdan to BarryPepper [link] [comments] Rise of Hellion ch13 ( Barry Pepper fanart fiction inspiration) previous: https://www.reddit.com/BarryPeppecomments/koihsy/rise_of_hellion_ch12_barry_pepper_fanart_fiction/ The flight touched down, under the early morning sky. I could practically taste the Cinnabon frosting. It had been over a decade since I’d been on an airplane but I loved hanging around the terminals for the delicious overpriced food. Baron placed his hand upon my shoulder. “What happens in Jersey stays in Jersey,” he said with a laugh. “I thought you’d be bitter.” I leaned on his shoulder as we waited for the seatbelt light to turn off. “You thought I’d be bitter about flying as a passenger instead of a pilot?” Baron shrugged, as he stretched his arms over his head. “I’ve always loved Alaska Airlines. And if I was flying the plane, I wouldn’t have been able to spend time with this little guy.” He tickled little Abby’s chubby arm causing the baby to smile. “I can’t disagree.” In the weeks following our arrival at Dr. Toki’s DC bunker, Baron grew close to my son. The three of us shared a room; two cots on the floor with a padded plastic box for the baby. Like all babies little Abby cried; for food, diaper changes, or just out of loneliness. Nine out of ten times, I would awaken to find Baron holding my son. Sometimes he’d walk around the small room, other times he would sit cross-legged on his bed, but every night was a different story about Noah. I learned things I knew I was never meant to know about. In the years they spent traveling the world as renowned criminal masterminds, Noah and Baron had become more than friends. They fell in love. “You daddy was the greatest person I ever knew,” Baron often said as he rocked my son in his arms. “He was the last person I ever truly loved.” I listened as Baron, by the light of the moon, told my infant son stories about his many adventures with Noah and Nash. Some boarded on the obscene; drugs, weapons trafficking, and all manner of sex. He never outright said they were lovers, only that they trusted each other with their mind body and soul. “It tears me up inside knowing he’s gone. I know this is all my fault, his blood is on my hands. We should have died together. Noah died the way he lived; with honor and integrity. But then I never would have met you.” That was how I knew Baron could be trusted; he loved Abby with every fiber of his soul. “Yo, Nicki,” Baron said, tapping my arm. “The plane’s empty, time to go.” “Oh,” I took a quick breath, forcing myself back to reality. Baron grabbed our one piece of luggage, a plain black backpack with a limited number of supplies. Axel had passed it along to us before going through security, so I had to assume it contained no weapons. We walked down the corridor to the gate at Atlantic City international airport. “Can I hold the bag?” I asked, since he was already holding the baby. “Sure.” Baron took off the straps and tossed me the bag. It was lighter than I thought it would be. Inside was a lot of fabric; some rolled, some folded and some pieces were clearly hiding items made of plastic or metal. I figured I shouldn’t be examining its contents right away but with the chill of the airport I wanted to see if there were any extra clothes for my baby. No, Abby was our baby. Seeing Baron holding the child in his arms, all I could feel was love. “Oh look!” I fished out a blue, baby t-shirt with a happy dolphin. “Let’s put it on him!” Baron did as I asked, maneuvering Abby’s wiggly little body. With his fresh new shirt, he looked like a cute little tourist baby. In fact, we looked like a typical vacationing couple traveling with their newborn. I knew that Axel and Dr. Toki were monitoring us from the safety and comfort of an unmarked medevac vehicle somewhere within a six-mile radius. Ideally, they would follow us, observe from a distance. If and when we found Tony, we could get the hell out (to the nearest TAC bunker.) Until then Baron and I were to look for clues along the boardwalk. “Should we get a hotel room?” I asked. “Certain military leaders didn’t give us any money, so unless you have a credit card?” “I could probably pick pocket one.” “Way to blow our cover,” he said with a laugh. “Nah, we can deal with the issue of housing when we need to. With any luck Axel and Dr. Toki have plans to get us out, so we don’t have to sleep on the streets with a baby.” We walked a further, to the land of sun, sand and casinos, stopping to rest on a bench. “Let’s see what’s in the bag.” There were more shirts, pants, a few flattened bottles to collect water, or maybe even breastmilk. I placed each of the items neatly on my lap, hoping that I would not miss anything important. However, in the end, the only item of importance was a package of baby wipes. There wasn’t even any diapers. I had to assume, if I needed to change my baby, I was meant to use the extra clothing. (Same for first aid, due to lack of bandages.) “You really don’t have any money?” “We can always shoplift,” Baron said cheerfully as he tossed the baby in the air. Abby squealed with joy. I could feel my heart flutter with joy. “That’s the New Jersey spirit!” “There has to be a Walgreens around here someplace.” We easily found a corner store with the iconic red signage. Baron picked up a basket and headed to the food section; packaged drinks, dried cereal, candy, etc. “What do you think happened to Anya?” I asked, following close. “Since you’re the last person who saw her.” “She’s going after Axel,” he answered casually. “And you’re ok with that?” “It’s her deal, her quest or whatever.” “Or whatever?” I asked. His tone was really starting to piss me off. Axel was my friend, a human being. But so was Anya. And that was why my soul was being torn in half. “Anya’s going to do what she has to do but for the sake of all of us she’s going to act alone. That way the blood will be only on her hands.” I saw his point. If and when the time came, we were under no obligation to choose sides. “How thoughtful.” “You need any diapers?” Baron asked. He was holding an open package of men’s shaving razors. Grabbing a single replacement head, Baron somehow managed to break the plastic apart without wounding his fingertips. I assumed he was going to cut open a package. “No, I’m good. He has on a cloth diaper and I have enough supplies to make an extra. But I could use some soap.” I grabbed a package of off brand bar soap with an image of a happy Asian baby. Ideally, I could use this for washing both skin and clothing. After easily leaving the store with everything we needed, we ran in the direction of the beach, hoping to get lost in the crowds. Suddenly out of nowhere the sky darkened and the clouds swelled with rain. The storm came down hard and fast, transforming from freezing rain, to pin-sized hail. In the distance there seemed to be a homeless encampment. Without any words spoken, we both knew to make a run for it. The tent city consisted of a series of tarps connecting individual homes. There were a few spots that had people huddled around campfires. Men, women and children sat wrapped in dirty, wet blankets, as they struggled to stay warm. Not wanting to take any of their limited resources we walked until we found a sparse area with just a tarp surrounded by barrels and broken pallets. The space was just enough for Baron and I to sleep side by side, resting the baby on his chest. “Here,” he said, sliding the backpack in my direction. “You can use the bag as a pillow.” “Thanks.” Unable to comfortably sleep I found myself staring up at the blue tarp. As my mind started to float away my mouth spewed out the words that I thought I’d never say. “What happened between you and Noah?” “What do you mean?” Baron asked in a whisper. He knew perfectly well what I meant. “Feng told me he gave Noah the same opportunities he gave you. Yet somehow you ended up as his right-hand man with full access to his arsenal of weapons guns and even his appointment book.” Baron swallowed a lump in his throat. “Your point?” “Why didn’t you convince Noah to come with you?” Baron went silent. He held the baby close, shivering. “You don’t think I tried?” He blinked tears from his eyes. If he’d been angry, I would have continued the conversation; I would have wanted to know why he had the right to mourn the father of my child. But Baron wasn’t angry, he was in pain. “I think we should get some sleep.” “Yeah, totally.” I knew better then to try to ask for my son back. Abby was an emotional support baby and Baron needed him more. I made myself comfortable on my bed of plastic and leaves, pulling the tarp over my body for warmth. “Good night.” There was a moment of silence before we were awoken by Abby’s cries. Baron sat up, rocking the small baby, attempting to keep him warm. “I think he’s hungry.” “Give him here.” I had gotten better at breastfeeding, but with how cold it was I would have preferred to keep as covered as possible. “Can you help me with my tarp-blanket?” “Sure.” Baron helped cover my body, allowing the baby warmth and privacy. “Thanks.” I looked at Baron with genuine love in my heart. “Thank you for being my friend.” I couldn’t stop the tears from falling, mixing with the freezing cold rain. “Thank you for everything.” Baron blinked tears from his own eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You really want to know what happened to Noah?” “Yeah, I do.” I looked down at Abby, who opened his eyes as he nursed. He had Noah’s courage and strength. “I can still remember that night. Even if it was for just a moment, I felt like I had friends, a real connection. That was never something that came easy for me.” Not that it mattered. It was yet another fleeting moment of happiness in my shit-show of a life. Baron lowered his shirt, revealing his upper chest. “Feng gave me an augmentation; I have an inorganic core made of some kind of plasma. I used to think it was radioactive but I have reason to believe it was created as a means of unlimited projectiles.” “And it keeps you warm?” That explained why Abby loved being held by him. “Well, the power came with a complimentary suit of armor that allowed me to be the perfect little henchman.” “You mean body guard?” Baron shrugged. “I assumed that was Feng’s original plan.” I swallowed the lump in my throat, mentally preparing for the worst. “And Noah?” “He wasn’t down for it. The only reason he surrendered to Kitsune was to allow you and Anya time to flee.” “Oh.” I felt like my heart stopped. I should have realized it from the beginning; that was the only reason we were allowed to live, because Noah truly loved me. “We were turned over to Feng. I could only assume she thought Feng had the ability to extract Noah’s mind; his intellect, his secrets. But he didn’t. Feng needed Noah to volunteer information.” Baron paused, blinking tears from his eyes. “That was the difference between us. My most valuable asset was my combat ability, maybe my strategy skills. All I had to do was pledge my loyalty, and wear the armor, to gain Feng’s trust. For Noah, that was asking too much. His mind contained secrets that could change the world; info that could never and would never fall in to the hands of tyrannical psychopaths.” “And that’s why he had to die.” Since I was finished breastfeeding, I handed the now happy, content infant back to Baron. “Although if it was up to Feng (and it was) well, you’ve seen his set up.” “Yeah,” I said with a nod. “I’m going to see that until the day I die.” “All of his prized victims are kept alive, conscious as their forced to exist as hood ornaments. Feng wanted them to suffer for all eternity, or until their brains turn to pea soup.” “Now I have a craving for split pea soup.” We laughed through our tears. In truth, I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing Noah’s remains. “You hungry?” Baron dug in his pocket, producing a smashed-up Snicker’s bar. “We can split it.” With food in our stomachs, we fell asleep to the sound of calming rain. For the first time since he’d been born, I had a vision of my son as a full-grown man. The sound of rain grew louder, gradually transforming to gunfire. I awoke in what appeared to be a WW2 battle scene. Thankfully I was transparent; bullets passed through me like a virtual reality game, and the area around me felt comfortably warm despite the fact I was standing in snow. In the distance I could see a man leaning on a tree. Eyes closed, he held a cross in his hand. I watched as he kissed the rosary pendent and said a simple prayer. “Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teaches my hands to war, and my fingers to fight.” As I came closer, I could see he was gripping his shoulder while doubled over in pain. That raised the question: why was he reciting the prayer of a sharpshooter? He moved his hand to his waist, slowly retrieving a pistol. “My goodness and my fortress.” He held the gun under his chin, cocking the barrel to his throat. “My high tower and my deliverer. My shield, and he in whom I trust.” “No!” The sound came from behind me. I turned to see a figure wearing pink-purple armor. It was in the same style as what Baron wore. And he or she wasn’t running, they were flying. “Abby!” A female voice cried. I followed as fast as I could, as she rushed to the man’s side. “Lieutenant?” The man muttered, coughing up blood. I now had a good view of his face. It was my son and he was dying. Before I could reach out my hand, the armored woman flew through me. She fell to her knees, ripping off her helmet to reveal a young Hispanic face framed by lots of curly black hair. “Abby, Sir, I’m here. It’s going to be ok.” She pursed her lips, smiling at him, through visible tears. Abaddon lowered his weapon. “You need to flee.” With trembling fingers, he lifted his free hand to cup her face. It was obvious that leaving was the last thing he wanted. “This is a battle we cannot win.” “Not alone, Sir,” the soldier replied with confidence. Why was she calling him Sir? I could barely make out a patch on his arm. It was possible he was an officer. The young woman lifted his arm, adjusting him over her shoulder. “I’m not leaving you behind. The nearest medic station is about six kilometers south of here. We can make it.” Before he could reply, she lifted his broken body in her arms, flying off into the night. The world started to spin as the scene changed. We were now in a poorly lit underground hospital. I could tell it was underground since every few seconds the room shook with the sound of gunfire and other (louder, more violent) explosions. Abby was laying on a cot with his bare chest exposed. He had several fresh bullet wounds, as well as deep scars. The woman was by his side, having taken off her armor she rested her head by his shoulder, holding his hand. “Why do you call me by my rank?” “What should I call you?” “My name is Sundra, but my friends call me Sunny.” “Is that because you sparkle like sunshine?” he asked with a subtle smile. Abby moved his free hand to her cheek, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “You don’t have to stay, Sunny.” “I want to stay. Call it my street gang code of honor; a little something, I picked up from my grandma.” She turned her wrist to reveal a tattoo. It was a stylized diamond with the words, ‘Lucy in the sky.’ Sunny started to softly hum the melody of the famous rock song. “Lucy in the sky with diamonds. Sorry, the title is the only part I know.” She kissed Abby on the forehead. “My papa’s name was Denny. He was the first of my family line born in America. You really remind me of him.” A gang member named Lucy with a son named Denny? That couldn’t be a coincidence. I moved closer, to get a better look at her face. She kissed Abby down his nose to his lips. There were tears in his eyes. “I’ll never forget you.” Sunny turned, briefly glancing in my direction. “Do you think she’s here, in the room?” “I know she is,” Abby replied, looking up at the ceiling. “Even as a child, I could always feel my mother’s spirit watching over me.” “Can she hear us?” Sunny asked, still looking in my path but not actually at me. “If the calculations and the technology are correct.” “Do you think she can save us?” Her large, emotional eyes, blinked back tears. With every blink she started to disappear, vanishing from reality like a spirit lost to time. When Sunny was completely gone, all that was left was my adult son. His arms were wrapped around the empty space. All around me I could hear sobbing. I assumed this meant I was going to wake up. My baby son was probably crying for food or maybe because of the cold: but I was going to wake up. Right? I wanted so badly to wake up. Wake up! Wake up! I felt a sharp pain. I awoke with a jolt under the tarp, to the collapsing of our little shelter. Touching my hip, I felt blood and splinters. All around me all I could see was tarp. I wanted to scream. Where was my son? Where was Baron? I needed to calm down; breathe, just breathe. I opened my hands, placing them palms down as if I was going to attempt a snow angel. There was a secret, a lock. There had to be. I felt a strange crack in the pavement. Digging my fingertips in, the piece seemed to transform into a handle (or a lever.) Even if it was just a hand hold, it would be my ticket out of the tarp since I could use it to keep myself grounded in place (as opposed to flopping around like a dying fish.) Turns out, it was a handle. I found myself falling down a slide. At the bottom I finally managed to get free of the tarp. Baron was sitting in a dark corner with a finger to his lips. “Shh, follow me. This is a mezzanine level.” He motioned towards what looked like a second series of tunnels. “I’m not sure how deep it goes. We’re not going to slide: we’re going to crawl. I’ll go first and you follow close. Do not lose sight of me. Understand?” “Are you holding the baby?” Baron nodded. “If shit goes bad, I want you to find my body. I’ll protect him with everything I have.” I knew what he meant, and trusted him fully, but I was still afraid. “You’re a better fighter than me.” “Yeah, that’s why I’m going to hold the baby.” “Ok.” Baron and I snuck down the tunnels, we emerged in an underground factory facility. “What is this place?” “Trash processing facility,” Baron replied. “You head left I’ll head right.” “Sure, I guess.” I went left until I saw what appeared to be a light source. I passed between several cargo boxes, emerging in an open area. There was a series of large vats, bubbling with hot oil or (more likely) acid. “Acid?” I had never seen acid before but the scene looked like something out of a comic book. “It is acid,” said a voice from a nearby balcony. “the typical use is to process heavy metals and other non-recyclable materials.” “Faust?” I couldn’t actually see his location. “Today we’re disposing of inorganic material of a different kind.” He hit a button causing a limp body to start to descend. It was clearly Tony, but I couldn’t tell if he was even alive. “Are you willing to make a deal; trade his life for the contents of the battery?” “I don’t even know if the copy I have is real.” And there was also the fact that the infamous flash drive was in a van, in the care of Axel and Dr. Toki. “The one that Baron put on the dark web? Trust me it’s the real deal.” “So, what’s on it?” I blurted out the words, although I wasn’t expecting any kind of logical answer. The man snickered. “Does it matter?” “Yeah, kind of.” “Look, do you want to know my entire evil plan or will you be a good girl and save your beloved boyfriend’s life?” I looked over at Tony. I had no way of helping him. If he was still alive, he was more then capable of saving himself. I had to believe that. “Is it time travel?” “What?” Faust asked with a laugh. “Seriously, what did you just say?” With a flash of light, Faust teleported, placing himself in front of me. He stood tall, in a tailored suit, staring me down with his creepy metallic eyes. “Answer me, little girl.” Why did he look so much like the adult version of my son? Because he was a shape shifter? Or was there something else? “Time travel?” The once stern man cracked a smile. “Time travel is the stuff of movies and fairytales. The contents of the battery will bring this world to its knees.” “Yeah, I’ve heard.” I blinked my eyes as the pieces fell into place. There was a reason why my son had been able to communicate with me so clearly through dreams. “Selective telepathic time travel.” Faust was no longer smiling. “Would you prefer that power fall to the hands of Kitsune? She and her brother, they’d use it to cause a gang war; an apocalypse of weapons and drugs. You wouldn’t want that blood on your hands.” We he seriously trying to appeal to my humanity? “What about you? What’s your plan, to go back in time to give Hitler a migraine?” I knew what his plan was. Or at least I think I did. There was something about Lucy or maybe Denny. What I knew for certain was that the final goal was Sunny; her existence held the key. “You’re not alone, are you? Such a pity.” Faust teleported off, in a blast of blue light. I already knew where he was going and there was nothing I could do. Faust landed on top of Baron as he attempted to free Tony’s body. Both men were knocked in to the acid. There was no sound; no screams, or even cries. Where was my baby? Faust teleported in front of me, holding my son in his arms. “You might not have been willing to save your boyfriend, but perhaps you will be willing to trade for your child.” My back hurt, my arms hurt and my head was pounding, but I ran straight at him, charging like a football player going in for a tackle. I was blinded by a familiar blue light. We had teleported, but to where? I could hear Abby crying. He was alive and that’s all that mattered. I blinked my eyes once then twice. “Fire?” next: https://www.reddit.com/BarryPeppecomments/l2xuj4/rise_of_hellion_ch14_barry_pepper_fanart_fiction/ |
1-4-1988 | 1-11-1988 | 1-18-1988 | 1-25-1988 |
I apologize for that one and will quit using the term. Actually the term abortion for a bad match is a business term just like jobber, mark, babyface and the rest. But there are a few business terms (mainly for ethnic wrestlers and ethnic fans) which are in bad taste that I don’t use, so I’ll add that one to the list.
DiBiase will interfere and Andre will pin Hogan on 2/5, however Jack Tunney will prove he can’t be bought and hold the title up so Ted doesn’t get the title, and order a rematch in a cage at WM4 so Ted can’t interfere (and also so Andre can lose without doing a job). Hulk will win on a fluke, and they’ll run Hulk vs. Andre over the summer in your local cities after Hulk gets back from playing Hulk Hogan in the movies.
2019: After the Escape From New YorkSearching for something else I stumbled upon this movie and of course the title caught my eye. Especially with 2019 in it. Mankind will prevail if it can survive the year 2019 https://88-films.myshopify.com/products/2019-after-the-fall-of-new-york-dvd-the-italian-collection-26 After the bomb drops, the world is divided into two fractions; on the one side are the evil Euracs, and on the other, the Pan-American Confederacy. Parsifal (Michael Sopkiw, Blastfi ghter) is sent by the President of the Confederacy (Edmund Purdom, Absurd) into the wasteland that was once New York; in an effort to rescue the last fertile female on the planet, the beautiful Giara (Valentine Monnier, Monster Shark). Extracting the key to mankind’s survival will not be easy; as they battle mutants, treacherous Confederacy personnel and the lethal Euracs that infest the barren and brutal landscape. Notice the name of the website and its logo on the top left of its page? 88 Films. This Italian film maker also created a movie called Hands of Steel. This doesn't ring any specific bells except for the Holy Grail talk. Which I believe is currently Meghan Markle. MM. Today is Marathon Monday apparently. The Boston Marathon. Well this movie is said to be influenced by another movie that seems much more related to possible future events. A movie that was made in 1981 but takes place in 1997. 22 years ago. Escape From New Yorkhttps://preview.redd.it/phl6ym3dnes21.jpg?width=580&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0efefff0b912cff46a91223d4e6f9554a91876fa Escape from New York is a 1981 American post-apocalyptic science-fiction action film co-written, co-scored and directed by John Carpenter. The film is set in what was then the near-future year of 1997, in a crime-ridden United States that has converted Manhattan Island in New York City into the country's maximum security prison. When Air Force One is hijacked by terrorists and crashes into New York City, ex-soldier and federal prisoner Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell) is given 24 hours to rescue the President of the United States. https://preview.redd.it/9ug8di6zpes21.png?width=1336&format=png&auto=webp&s=97ff967b208d6ea99f5e39a88597adb0f84d8f49 https://preview.redd.it/8u724ohsyfs21.jpg?width=2628&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=75413600e355e29956f34c88779b8a8432b91de2 https://preview.redd.it/3fm5jtbvyfs21.jpg?width=1100&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e7cd4b5ad87c1c7d8898618c81671b93eabcedf0 ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK REMAKE IN THE WORKS AT FOX FROM UPGRADE CREATOR LEIGH WHANNELL ESCAPE FROM NY: More Than ONE THIRD of New Yorkers Plan on Fleeing De Blasio’s Big Apple Not even death is an escape from New York’s expensive real estate |
Questions | Answers |
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What was the experience like on the set? Were you a Star Trek fan before accepting the role? If you could replicate any human, who would it be? | The best part of the entire experience was working with Brent Spiner. That guy is amazing actor! It's more than just gold makeup. Also no matter where I go in the world people bring that up to me more than any other role I've done. |
Did you ever do your Sinatra impersonation for Sinatra? If so, did Frank approve? | Yes -- at the Friar's Club. He LOVED it (which is why I'm still alive). And, on an old show called "Solid Gold" where the man himself introduced me and I did him in full make-up. He used to refer to me as the "Vice Chairman of the Board." |
What was it like to fight Chuck Norris in Sidekicks? Was there a third fist hidden under his beard? | Very funny! |
It was a privilege and an honor being beaten up by the bearded one. | |
I had never trained so hard in my life because of my respect for Chuck. He's a great guy and a great athlete. And, as silly as my character was, we took the fight scenes seriously. | |
Even though I signed a contract saying I wouldn't tell: yes, there is a third fist in his beard. | |
Why'd ya ditch the mullet? you rocked that 'do out of the park. | Literally laughing out loud right now. |
The truth is that Jon Stamos asked me to cut it off so that he could be the good looking one... ;) | |
Who were your least favorite people to work with on SNL? Favorite? | Favorite person is easy: I can never quite describe the thrill of working with Eddie Murphy live on the set of SNL. He had a reckless abandon that was contagious. |
The recent set of interactions with O&A was brilliant from beginning to end. It made my appreciation for you grow even more. | And, really, thank you for the kind words about O&A -- getting my ass kicked in court wasn't fun, but you guys helped me get through it! Thank you! |
I know that this is an AMA and I want to be honest with you all, but I'm a guy that just doesn't like going negative. GGJP. | Oh, if this could become a new meme... I would be so happy! |
Joe, you are a great performer! Truly enjoyed your SNL stuff! | That's a fair question. |
My question is regarding your name being synonymous with a great actoperformer expected to be huge post-TV and never attaining the same as, say, an Eddie Murphy or Julia-Louis Dreyfuss (strictly SNL alum speaking). What are your thoughts on that? Does it bother you? Are you satisfied with your work post-SNL enough that you can just let it wash over you? | After I had Thyroid Cancer in 1981, my outlook on what "success" is changed. I lost my single-minded focus to succeed in showbiz and wound up focusing way more on my family. So, if you're asking if I'm happy with my career, I think the bigger question is am I happy with my life -- and the answer is, I'm here, I'm alive, and YES! |
What's your favorite story from the set of Johnny Dangerously ? | There's a scene in JD where there's a dead body -- someone was cleaning his gun and I accidentally shot somebody. Michael Keaton and I are talking and, as an adlib, we both rest our feet on the body. We could hardly stop ourselves from laughing. I'm not even sure it made it into the final cut (I haven't seen the movie in a while -- any redditors remember if it's in there or not)? |
Anyway, just working with a guy like Keaton -- every day was a struggle not to laugh! | |
So my question is, what is your favorite filming location of all the films you've been in, and why? | My favorite place to shoot was the exotic... Newark and Jersey City when I was shooting Wiseguys with Danny DeVito. It was the dead cold of winter, the scenery was oil refineries and cemeteries, and man... it just doesn't ge better than that. For a Jersey boy, it was nice being around what I grew up with :) |
You're on the road a lot, can you share some of those experiences and tips on how you deal with that? | Here's the trick: I seem to seek out women who are really mean to me, and that makes everything else in life a lot easier to deal with. Those same girls, though, they make the road very... accommodating. |
How did you react after your long Time friends opie and Anthony reacted to your hbo special? | There are times when I don't disagree with Opie and Athony but I have to stay politically correct because of the good people I work with. |
Why sit there shirtless while talking?? | By the way -- what are you talking about me being shirtless? I don't remember having done that... |
We can see through your webcam. You're shirtless now, Joe. | Well then you're going to have pay extra... |
What's your favorite joke? | Howard Hughes type guy, old, rich but just a mess. He decides to change his life -- gets spiffied up -- he cuts his hair, gets a shave, buys a suit, some plastic surgery, a red Ferrari, a young hot blonde at his side. |
They're driving down the highway and BOOM, he's struck by lighting. He gets up to heaven and he says to God -- I just started learning how to live my life! Why did you take me. | |
And God says, "well, to tell you the truth, I didn't recognize you." | |
Okay not a great joke, but my dad loved it. And, uh, don't tell /atheism about it. It's just a joke. I don't need them coming after me! :) | |
Who do you think has been the best SNL host of all time? And, follow up question, who's been an epic fail? | Eddie was the best host I've ever seen -- if you'll remember, Nick Nolte was scheduled to host and backed out at the last second and Eddie stepped in for him. There have been a lot of SNL articles and books about this incident, but I can tell you Reddit none of them got it right: Eddie Murphy was the single best host in the show's history. And... he saved our ass that week. |
Epic Fail: we already talked about Spruce Burn. | |
I imagine the hilarity of the script made it hard to get usable stuff on film. Who was the funniest on set, and how much of the movie was improvised? | Peter Boyle was great. And Richard Dimirti who played Roman Moronie is truly one of the funniest people I ever worked with. He kept all of us in stitches on the set. |
How long did it take you to compose Kimberly, and why was it never released as a commercial single? IT ROCKED! | Again, literally laughing out loud. |
All I can say Reddit is that when you're in love, sometimes you do stupid things. | |
Suffice it to say, if that song were released today, it would have significantly different lyrics. | |
What was the best and worst part about working at SNL? Who were your favorite and least favorite guest hosts? | Coming up with new material every week was as daunting a task as I ever encountered. |
I can remember Eddie and me staying up all night trying to come up with new material. We were like two college roommates cramming for a final -- we both got punchy and started riffing and some of the best stuff came out of that. | |
Some bad moments -- having to do a sketch that you knew wasn't really funny, but they needed to fill time. And then on Sunday hearing all my boys back in Jersey calling me out on how terrible the sketch was. | |
Favorite Guest Host -- Jerry Lewis, Robin Williams, and Don Rickles. | |
Least Favorite Guest Host -- I said before, I didn't want to talk bad about anybody. But let's just say that if I had to say something about somebody, his name would rhyme with "Spruce Burn". :) | |
Do you ever get tired of people asking you about SNL or Johnny Dangerously? | Never get tired of SNL ever. Keep asking all you want! |
I know you guys want to talk about the new movie, not stuff that happened in the 80s, right? | There's only ONE Sinatra, but I gotta tell ya -- I was at the Sinatra restaurant in the Wynn in Vegas last night and I asked for a table and they told me it was a half hour wait. My first thought was WWFD -- What Would Frank Do -- but since I figured I would get arrested for killing a maitre'd, we went to a Chinese joint. |
Also, who does the best Sinatra impression...you, or Joe Piscopo? | But seriously, if you want to see me channel the old man, come out to one of my shows! He would have wanted it that... |
Any plans of returning to SNL, even if it's just a quick cameo? | Lorne Michaels offered me a shot on Weekend Update. If and when I announce my candidacy for the governorship of New Jersey, I'll take him up on that offer. |
How much can you bench? | I love this question. Here it is, straight from the heart: I suck on the flat bench. MAX, INCLINE: 225. I've always admired the beef monsters who can bang 345. |
UGH, I feel like such a wuss. | |
In the major motion picture Sidekicks how was it like to fight Chuch Norris? also, Did you ever happen to stay in touch with young Johnathan Brandis? If so did he ever show any signs of depression or an signs leading to his suicide? | That's a great question. He absolutely did not seem depressed ever. He was one of the most positive, nicest kids you'll ever meet. Which just goes to show you, you never know how and when the depression is going to hit. |
I'm only curious because I enjoyed the roles he was in. good actor. | Jay is telling me about reddit and I love the sense of community you have here. Things like /suicidewatch are a great resource for people needing help and I urge any of you who might be feeling bad to seek help. Johnathan was a great kid and I miss him. |
When's Dead Heat 2 coming out? | Seriously, I get more requests for what you just asked than anything else! As soon as I'm done with this AMA I'm calling my agent and suing the makers of RIPD! :) |
I Thought You Were Dead!? Well Anyways Your Pretty Funny. | I'm new to Reddit, but shouldn't that be "You're". |
Who is your favorite stand-up comedian? | Well, I have to say Jay Black because he's here. |
Lewis Black Gilbert Gottfried Colbert Sinbad George Lopez Louis CK's last special was awesome and very smart. | |
What are your thoughts on Chris Christie? Would you ever run for office? | I would run for office, but not against him! We're not of the same political persuasion, but he's the smartest politician on the scene. You can't help but love his flippant Jersey style. |
I mean, how many politicians can get into a verbal altercation on the boardwalk with an ice cream cone in his hand? Maybe Lincoln... | |
What can you tell us about the new flick? What was your favorite part about filming? | My favorite part of the new movie was working with Paul Sorvino -- that was thrilling. And, intimidating -- he's a friend, but he's so serious in his role as a tough guy that there were points I actually got scared of him. |
Also, dancing and singing with the star, Erich Bergen was amazing. It was nice to show off my chops. But don't worry, I'm still Jersey baby. | |
Nice. | He's a fine young man who I know is married, so that means he's sexually frustrated. That means his testosterone level is probably through the roof. Let's not anger him! |
Approximately how many schools can the .88 magnum efficiently penetrate? | I love Johnny Dangerously -- great movie. Shout out to Amy Hecklerling for directing it. And Norman Steinberg for writing it. But clearly, we would have left that joke out if the movie were made today... |
Do you think there are as many talented comedians performing nowadays as there were back in the 80s and 90s? If not, why not? ( I would say no and I do not know why. Maybe performers are a lot more phony and formulaic than they used to be. ) | Wow, what an astute question! |
I actually think that the best time for stand-up was before my time. Guys like Robert Klein, George Carlin, Rodney Dangerfield, Richard Pryor, Woody Allen, Dick Cavett, and Bill Cosby. Those guys were the true pioneers. | |
Since I hit the scene, it's all be downhill since then! :) | |
What is the most memorable thing that you saw or were part of on your appearance on Startrek TNG ? | LeVar Burton never took that thing off his head. That's all I have to say. |
Joe, can you talk about some behind the scenes memories of that awful strange transition when everyone got fired but you and Eddie Murphy? | I felt so bad that we were ruining America's favorite television show. And when they decided to keep Eddie and I, we were just two cocky comics from the clubs and, at the time, we couldn't care less. |
I think that it was that cockiness that kept us funny and appealing to the producers. | |
Thanks for doing this AMA Joe. A fan of your work, and thanks for all the laughs over the years. What comics crack you up the most today, and who were you favorites in the past? Lastly, what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? :-) | Link to youtu.be |
What is going on the Howard stern show like? | Part psychotherapy. Part interrogation. Part waterboarding. All in all, a good experience... |
In that famous clip of you playing the drums, and dying from cocaine, A) Were you really playing the drums? B) Was it real cocaine? | Really playing the drums, but not real cocaine. But according to some of the people in this AMA, I really did die :) |
I'm honestly not trying to insult you, but did/do you use PEDs? | Fair question. Does Lipitor count as a PED? |
I never, not once EVER used a PED. I used to work out with the big boys at the gym and they would say, "Why would you work out so hard, just take a shot in the ass!" | |
In principle, I was against it, but not to mention I had the cancer and any PED would accelerate the growth of any latent cancer cells. | |
That was back in the early 80's right? Everything still OK, Mr. Piscopo? | They tell me I was "cured" in 1991 (10 years cancer free) -- but you're always looking over your shoulder and to this day, I'm an absolutely hypochondriac and I get tested regularly. For cancer. And STDs. :) |
Who was the biggest douchebag on SNL to work with? | I am Italian. I have taken the SNL code of Omerta. |
I only have one question: "Hey yo, beanpole! Yooouuu wanna show me what you got?" | Another literal laugh out loud. |
The basketball players were standing on apple boxes so that they could make me look shorter than I was -- but I have the fondest memories of shooting those Miller Beer spots. | |
By the way: I must be the worst white basketball player on the planet. | |
Who would you say is the best living New Jerseyan? (I'm assuming Sinatra would be tops of the all-time list.) | Re: Sinatra -- true dat. |
Right now, Springsteen is the living legend. Hands down, no contest. | |
You opened up a Piano Bar at the Resorts casino in Atlantic City and I so badly wanted to go but found out about it on the day we were leaving. Is it still there? | We took "Club Piscopo" on the road. We will be at McCloone's in Asbury Park June 6th, July 10th (with Jeff Norris), and if I can afford him... Jay Black one day. C'mon out and see the show! Would love to meet you! |
What was your single favorite skit that you performed in on SNL? | Solomon and Pudge -- where Eddie and I played those two old guys in the neighborhood bar. It was always placed in the 12:55 slot -- it was so organic, I always felt that it embodied the relationship of Eddie and I more than anything else. |
But swinging with the SNL band doing Frank Sinatra was Ring-A-Ding as well... | |
In your opinion what was the "Golden Era" of SNL? The ONE period where the perfect storm of actors, writers, hosts all came together to make the best shows. | Great question: the original cast. That's inarguable. One of the greatest collection of actors on the planet. Great writers. Lorne Michaels! I am awed by what they accomplished. The fact that I got to even place a few steps on the trail they blazed was an honor. (Was that too dramatic an answer?) |
Why are old rich people afraid of typing? | I'm not that old, I'm not that rich. |
Side note: Jay is typing this because he has a full keyboard and because if I tried to type this out on my iPhone 5 it'll be 2016 before this AMA is done. If Apple ever makes a phone for people with normal sized hands, I think that little upstart company might have something... | |
Hey Joe! Thanks for doing this! What has been the biggest letdown of your career as a comedian/actor? | I did a show for the New Jersey Chamber of Commerce YEARS ago and it was a train wreck in every way conceivable. But, in true Jersey fashion, all is forgiven... but not forgotten. |
What do you think of that show jersey shore? you know the show with snooki aka the evil midget. | If you're from Jersey or if you're Italian, you can make all the jokes you want. If you're not, fuggedaboutit... |
Do you have a podcast or have any favorite interviews that you have done this year? | Link to mobile.twitter.com |
And, Paul Rohrer in Denver is great as well! | |
Is Howard stern as large of an ass hole that he seems? | Howard is one of the nicest guys on the planet -- off the air. His on-air persona is appealing to millions, but what's most appealing to me is how down-to-earth and insecure the guy really is. He's a human being doing a show. |
Is the fact that this AMA only has 96 upvotes in 3 hours disheartening? | Seeing as I didn't know what an upvote was 4 hours ago -- no. |
"You are black and I am white, you are blind as a bat and I have sight." /fucking hilarious. | The one and only time I ever (respectfully) upstaged Eddie Murphy. |
I love your recent appearances on Opie and Anthony. You were hilarious and had some great stories as well as a fantastic sense of humor about everything, including yourself. Great sport mate, hope to see more of you. | God Bless you Brother. Thanks, I'm trying. |
Joe really did a great job on O&A. Not many can keep a cool head when dealing with them and their hilarious antics. | I truly appreciate that. Thanks. |
Now I am looking up Johnny D on Netflix. Haven't seen that movie in years but one my all time favorites. Great job in that movie! | You can't just see that movie once... ONCE! |
Joe, youre the man. Ive enjoyed everything Ive seen you in. I wish I had a question, but in lieu of that, Ill just say good luck with your new flick and all your future endeavors. | Thank you brother. I'll take this opportunity to plug where the movie is at. Please, if you're near one of these theaters, go see it. Or, maybe just go buy a ticket and then go watch Iron Man 3. |
We're playing at the AMC in... | |
Jersey Gardens in Elizabeth, NJ AMC Loews Village 7 on 3rd AVE in New York. AMC Norwalk 20 in Norwalk, CA. | |
You shouldn't have done this IAmA, Joe. Stephen Colbert did an IAmA. ONCE! | Need to say something here: Stephen Colbert is one of the smartest, most talented human beings on TV today. I am a HUGE Colbert fan! |
Sidekicks was such a fun movie to watch when I was younger. I'll have to see if I can find that on netflix or something. | Technically that's not a question, but every time you watch it on Netflix, I get a check for 4 cents. So if you could please watch it like 84,000,000 times today, I'd appreciate it... |
My favorite SNL was when you were throwing stuff at Eddie Murphy during a velvet Jones skit. Did you guys happen to be intoxicated or something, or was it just that crazy on the set. | Oh my God, I remember that! That was wild! The sketch was BOMBING and Eddie and I were trying to pull it out and make it work. So, we weren't intoxicated, just desperate. |
But that was such a great time, thanks for reminding me of it! | |
No questions really, but my buddies mom used to fuck you wayyy back in the day. She's pretty MILF'y and seems like she'd be a freak in the sack, so good job, Joey. | Stay classy Reddit. |
Please give us the behind the scenes gossip from the movie Super. edit: just realized it's The Super, and it starred joe pesci...not joe piscopo. still though, i stand by my question. | I wasn't in the movie "The Super!?" |
Howard is one of the nicest guys on the planet -- off the air. His on-air persona is appealing to millions, but what's most appealing to me is how down-to-earth and insecure the guy really is. He's a human being doing a show. | (by the way, he's the guy who told me I should marry Kimberly!) |
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