Even if my faith in myself's been spotty at times*breaking tune, to a much more familiar hard rock style like he plays in his band*
Or the muse has left me, I've forgotten my lines
You'd think I'd be sad, but not at all
Cause of my friends, I can always stand tall
It's never long, so I've learned
That I have to wait, before the muse returns
Even if they never needed a cause
I'll never tire of my friends' applause
But enough of music! Let's finish this take!*epic solo, to claps and cheers, as they eat their fill*
CAUSE THE TIME IS HERE, TO FILL THESE MAWS WITH CAKE!
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Richard II, Act III, Scene 2When I was planning to enlist, I was pretty sure that mail would be a big deal. I didn’t want to have a girl-back-home, so I made a point to break off contact with girls I had dated. Wasn’t hard. My high-school friends were, like me, scattering off into the 60's - college, Haight-Ashbury, Hippie communes, whatnot.
submitted by SymptomaticFiend to gentlemanboners [link] [comments] |
Elizabeth:--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sigh, ember farming again today…this is so obnoxious~.
But, I was summoned to Chaldea as a servant, so who am I to say that.
Well, I don’t wanna rush. Kiyohime’s gonna be there nagging…
…Hum?
What’s this. Did someone leave a book here?
(Flip) …It’s manga.
Hmhmhm…
Mm…?
Is that me?
…huh…wai-…what the hell is this!
Agh! I’m, I’m not like this at all!
A-and, this girl I’m chummy with, that’s…
That’s my rival, Kiyohime! This is garbage!
Who drew this! Who would approve of this mock-up!
I-I’m so upset…!
…………
………… (Flip)
………….!
Kiyohime:
Um?
Elizabeth:
Kya!?
Kiyohime:
What are you doing?
Everyone’s waiting in the control room, you know. It’d be nice of you to join us.
Elizabeth:
Ah, um, well…sorry.
Kiyohime:
This is just like you, always so carefree and sloppy.
Elizabeth:
…………
Mash:>! O-oh yeah, right. Sorry.
Battle start!
Elizabeth:
…………
(Impossible…can’t be…)
(This plot with me n’ Kiyohime is totally…)
(We have opposite personalities, and if we see each other we wind up fighting)
(Buuut…)
(Me and Kiyohime, in this, are…)
Kiyohime:
Elizabeth, snap out of it! Come on, we're fighting here!
Elizabeth:
Mash:She grabs hold of Liz to protect her!
Senpai…
Does Elizabeth, seem a bit off to you today…?
It’s like her head’s in the clouds…
Kiyohime:
What else is new?
Elizabeth, could you please buff me up for my Noble Phantasm?
Elizabeth:
Huh!? You, you…want me to what!?
Kiyohime:
Come now, it’s only a buff. Your “Sadistic Charisma”???
Elizabeth:
You want, my Sadistic Charisma…that’s…
Kiyohime:
Look out!
Elizabeth:Mash grabs at Elizabeth and Kiyo.
Byaa!?
N-no, you can’t! That’s! We can’t just do this here, I’m an Idol!
I don’t like how you’re rushing our relationship forward! Let’s at least be friends first!
Or, maybe getting intimate really is okay! I mean, I have a lot to learn right! You can teach me, Kiyohime!
Kiyohime:
Wh-what!? Elizabeth! Please let go!
T-the enemy is coming!!
Mash:
Huh? Elizabeth, what are you doing! We’re in the middle of a battle!
Please calm down! Here, just detach Kiyohime from you…!
Elizabeth:[(Mayhem…)] / [(Ecchi…)]
M-mash too!? Y-you have the wrong idea, Kiyohime’s the one being too pushy…it’s not like we’re trying to betray you guys…
This is awful, I can’t choose…I can’t pick which one of you I like more!
I love you two!! C’mere!!!
Mash:
Elizabeth!? L-let me go! Senpai, feel free to lend a hand!
Mash:The hands attack!
Senpai! Why are you looking at us with a straight face! Hurry and do something, before…
Everyone:Everything goes white…
AAaaahhhhh!!!
Circe:[Wouldn’t the Valkyries be better?] / [Aah, ‘cause you got wings…]
Ahem.
A peaceful death yet eludes you…Master, please wake up…
Eh, what am I, Circe, doing here? Because I'm so angelic, ehe!
WHA-!!
Other girls can do this just fine! You, you…!
THAT’S WHAT YOU BASE IT ON!?-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And here I was, having just gotten to like you…like you…like you…! (Echoing)
Mash:[It would’ve been instant death without using 3 Command Seals…] / [I saw some strange illusion just before we got completely owned]
…I can’t believe we almost lost during ember farming. This is pathetic.
Da Vinchi:[The book’s the one that’s different!] / [Let’s do something, quick]
Yup yup, that was bad.
By the way, Elizabeth has been restrained for now. She looked pretty deranged.
We don’t know what she was saying, but she sure kept saying it.
She kept telling me how this was that and that was this, and that wasn’t that and that wasn’t this…?
Mash:
?
Da Vinchi:
Well, she ran out of energy so she’s quiet for now. It’s easier to hold a conversation with her too.
In any case, to try and help Elizabeth, we’ve given her some appropriate counseling.
She said that I might be able to get a partner with a girl who’s close to me, but---
It’s like she’s been possessed to obsessively focus on things like that.
It’s not like she’s had some sort of suggestion made to her. It’s more like an extremely troublesome magical indictment is on her mind.
I hate to say it, but it’s probably brainwashing.
Mash:
Brainwashing!
That’s…who could do that…
Da Vinchi:
Right before Elizabeth went off on ember farming a moment ago, she was reading some strange manga someone threw on the floor.
With Chaldea as the setting, mock versions of all of us were used in the stories inside…
And the contents are ridiculously suggestive. Things get really hung up on nudity and close ups.
What’d you call this type of derivative work, “Naughty Books?”
Mash:
Eh…
Da Vinchi:
In this same book Elizabeth was reading, there was traces of mana energy bundled inside…
It’s likely that the pictures inside this book influence others to believe that the types of people of Chaldea inside are the real ones.
Da Vinchi:---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Agreed. The only way to find a solution to the brainwashing is to find and deal with this book!
Let’s hurry, to set things right --- okay! Let’s go back and search where she was reading it!
Da Vinchi:Clonk.
Hmmm, wasn’t it around here…?
Mash:
Ah, is that Altera? Let’s go ask her.
Altera:
………
T-this is…what the heck is this…
Helena Blavatsky and…I….what kind of a causal relationship is this…
Mash:
Everyone, look! Altera’s reading some book…And if I’m not mistaken, it’s the one we’re looking for!
Altera, can we please have a look at the book you’re reading?
Altera:
Ah, aaaaa…..AAAAAA……
This is bad civilization….no….good civ….no…
Uu, uuuuuu……AAaaaaa….
Da Vinchi:
She’s acting funny! The brainwashing has already begun! Mash, take that book away from her!
Mash:
Got it! Excuse me, Altera! Hya!
Altera:--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Haaa…where am I…?
Mash:[Isn’t that treatment way too cruel!?] / [Touchy touchy?]
As we thought, the book that brainwashed Elizabeth really is dangerous.
Da Vinchi:
Doo-dee-doo. (flip flip)
Mash:
Da Vinchi, reading that’s dangerous!
Da Vinchi:
It’s okay, I’m an outstanding artist and outstanding inventor. For someone like me, staying as calm as a cucumber while reading this is no problem at all.
It can’t brainwash me. Now, let’s continue. (Flip flip)
Hmm hmm hmm…
The stuff in here’s amazing. The superhuman feats the servants perform in here are impossible though.
Mash:
…………...
Da Vinchi:
Why am I drawn as nothing but a cheapskate…it’s a really bad impression.
Mash:
………………
Da Vinchi:
Ahaha, it perfectly nailed the depiction of [Guda] though.
They can stretch out their arms like feelers, and by then it’s too late for people to do anything about it. They sure like to grab at Mash a lot----
Mash:
W-what kind of a representation is that…
Yes![I’m fine with freedoms of representation!] / [You shouldn’t see me as viewing people like raw food like that one does!]
Senpai won’t reach those levels of harassment so long as I, Mash Kyrielight, have anything to say about it!
Touchy touchy.
- Da Vinchi:
It looks like [Guda] has a habit of being semi-overbearing of Mash…
This book! Isn’t all that wrong!
Mash:
……………….!
Da Vinchi:
Oh, sorry sorry. I can tell that I’ve made you uncomfortable.
Mash:
N-no, I’m open to mutual consent, but if we’re going by how they act, it's more like they're guided by spontaneity...
Da Vinchi:
(Yeah, their talent on how they get Romani is in really good taste) Yeah, you’re right.
No, wait, calm down, Mash Kyrielight! This book isn’t talking about the real [Guda]!
The one that gets described in this book is a really fake one.
I mean c’mon, this isn’t like them!
Mash:
Ah!
Y-yeah, a-huh! I knew they were no good! Senpai has honor to their name!
Mash:
Senpai, um…I didn’t hurt your feelings, did I?
Book:The book suddenly starts to float!
Kukuku…
Mash:[Who are you]
?The book, on it’s own…!
Book:
You’ve read our stories…with reception…
Mash:
It’s talking now…!
Da Vinchi:
I’m sensing a strong mana output!
Book:[But brainwashing to do that is no good, isn’t it?]
The problem isn’t who I am…but what I’ve become in this world.
I dropped into this world through the shadows, and I am the true form of this world.
Da Vinchi:
It can’t be, you mean the contents of that book really can re-write reality itself!?
Book:
By my design, I will bring this world to a perfect balance of harmony. If your world can follow my imitations, you will acquire unbreakable, strong unions, and love.
Right now, through this gap in your world, my evil forces can easily defeat you.
I’ll end this bloodthirsty world, and rebuild it, to bring forth an eternal era of everlasting spring from these bleak days of normalcy.
Yes, we will all live happily ever after, where we’ll get along with nothing but “hee hees” “hoo hoos” and “tralalas”.
Book:[Isn’t deciding for them too strict!?]
In order to bring everyone closer together in thought, it can’t be helped.
I decided to utilize this to make everyone more intimate with each other, and become couples.
Elizabeth and Kiyohime becoming intimate is good. Jeanne and Mary making out together is good.
Mari falling in love with Martha is good. Altera and Mrs. Blavatsky getting married is good.
The ships I decided on reign supreme! No exceptions! None!
Da Vinchi:[And I’m moe!] / [These are crack ships!]
Nonsense…
Book:
Mu!?
Da Vinchi:
You’re just parody, and ignoring preestablished character traits and then destroying them for the sake of others without a care is just…
I mean, it’s been well established that Kiyohime is super close to Master with no exceptions, and you can’t just change that as a derivational work.
Just giving her to someone else would be completely taboo! You can’t just ignore reality!
Da Vinchi:[But there are times when official things become a minefield…]
Thanks for such an eye-opening reaction! Yeah yeah yeah, you’re right!
You can’t sprout such absurdly wild delusions from your own head. You can’t just push people to like or dislike each other against their will!
Moreover, you’re rewriting your delusions over reality as “official”, which is completely egotistic!
Non-fiction is non-fiction! There’s no room to shove in delusions!
Da Vinchi:[It’s a little difficult in My Room but whatever] / [Please take this outside!]
Hey, please don’t cut me short while I’m talking. Because in the end, I covered stuff like that too.
Book:
Feh! After all the real (original) master’s done with my sublime delusions, you still can’t find sympathy for them…?
I knew that the only way to change this world would be with force!
Mash:
Senpai, prepare for battle!
Book:[Because the true meaning of Yuri was missing from you until now] / [You can’t necessarily say that]
I…lost…why…
Da Vinchi:
Your power is nothing but fake relationships. There’s no point so long as you try to brainwash others against their will with it.
Yuri content is --- certainly its not about the people in it just making out.
Instead, focus on the relationships of those people, and look at their inner feelings to make their hearts sprout! Because that’s what Yuri is! (Wise words)
Book:
!! If I really look at what you said…then I was wrong…
Da Vinchi:The book fades away.
[Guda], shut up.
Book:
My delusions were just inspirations for this world to reach everlasting good fortune …
Mash:Mash picks up the Sexy Pinup Mash CE.
Enemy reaction extinguished…
Oh, what’s that. It dropped something.
Da Vinchi:[Why is it always craft essences…] / [I bet it’s an EXP up CE. Yay.]
It’s a craft essence. It’s probably from us defeating that book. How generous, we should take it with us.
Da Vinchi:We look up at the sky, and see Riyo Guda’s ominous form…
Doesn’t matter, it’s limited! Look forward to equipping it!
Mash:
Senpai, the battle’s over, but…in the end, we didn’t learn where that book came from, did we?
Da Vinchi:
It’s possible that someone in Chaldea made it, but…
We don’t know if it was a microscopic singularity, or maybe something that came from some far off parallel universe or pruned event or some-such.
Everything’s a mystery now, since it’s already been extinguished.
But for mankind to once again encounter this other person who forgot to care and tolerate others’ hearts, there may be a time where they forcibly push others together in fabricated ships…
Perhaps they just haven’t shown up yet…
Da Vinchi:Meanwhile, back at the infirmary…
Oh, I’m not saying that I don’t want to meet them…well, whatever.
Alright, get a grip, because from tomorrow on we still need to save the world!
Elizabeth:The two of them start fighting as usual.
Ahhh~ I was negligent~.
That plot was impossible~ Kiyohime and I can’t get intimate with each other~
It’s so funny~ (Crunch, Munch)
Kiyohime:
Hey, Elizabeth! Stop chowing down and getting sugar crumbs all over the bed!
Elizabeth:
Shaddap! It’ll get cleaned up in a bit!
But I won’t be doing it. Since I’m an Idol.
Kiyohime:
You act like you’ve ever cleaned something up in your life!
Elizabeth:
Excuse you?
Kiyohime:
What about me!
Elizabeth:
Grrr!
Kiyohime:
Hisss!
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